Morning, noon, and night I choke down huge handfuls of pills and whispered prayers as we continue to try and treat my chronic illness. It's been an exhausting couple of years. I feel worn out and tired from the constant pain and lack of nutrition. One of my biggest challenges has been starting over with my health journey. I had put so much time into getting fit and healthy and in the snap of my fingers it was all gone. My muscles are atrophied and my strength non-existent. Things that use to be so easy are challenging on the best of days and impossible on the worst. I am making sure to keep my mind and spirit filled with reminders that in my weakness He is made strong and even as we walk through this valley that He is still good and just and He loves me more than I can comprehend and that "even if..." I will still trust His plan is good and His glory will be made known. I pray that I am remain faithful in my struggles and try to protect my heart from growing bitter. Which is hard. It is very hard to be at peace with weakness and loss. So every time I feel sorry for myself I try to dive deeper into Him and His promises. I believe He is a healing God. I believe that in sickness we can be a testimony and a light. So here is to little steps forward and little steps back- may His name always be known.
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